People Who Leave Reading Materials in Toilet Stalls

Some people are very particular when it comes to going to the bathroom.  Mostly this applies to women who must squat regardless of the situation, but some guys also have issues with certain places.  I am not one of them.  I will use any toilet anywhere if need be.  This is not to say that I don’t appreciate a clean facility, one that is preferibly well-stocked and features working locks on the doors, because I do, but if a situation arises and I have to go, I go.  Luckily, most offices tend to feature bathrooms that meet all reasonable criteria.  And then there are those that go above and beyond.  But I’m not talking about automatic air fresheners or two-ply toilet paper.  No, I’m talking about those that have reading materials, usually newspapers, in the stalls.  And for that we need to thank not the attendent staffs but those unnamed heroes who leave it behind for their fellow brothers.

On the whole reading on the toilet tip, either you get it or you don’t.  Personally, I’m a big fan, going so far as to always have some sort of reading material in my bathroom at home.  I don’t go as far as having a dedicated magazine rack in there, though I’ve seen those and am tempted to get one, but I at least have a book or a recent magazine somewhere in there.  In fact, there are several books I have read in their entirity solely during bathroom trips ( it takes a while, but it can be done).  So seeing as how I’m pro “reading on the toilet” I am a big fan of anyone who brings something in and leaves it behind.

I myself have done it on occasion, though it is usually pre-planned.  Not to get all graphic on you, but say I find myself in my office early in the morning, I’ve had my coffee already, maybe some oatmeal (Quaker Instant Variety, Banana Bread flavor preferibly), and I sense something, ahem, brewing.  Knowing what’s coming I usually print out a bunch of articles from the good ole interwebs, grab them off the printer, fold them up so they fit in my pocket and head off to the old war room to do what I need to do.  Of course, when I’m finished, I leave them behind, because I’m good like that. 

That is more of a covert operation however.  What I’m talking about with this praise is the for the guys who wave their “toilet reading” flag proudly.  These are the dudes who go in with the full newspaper, tucked under the arm, as they walk down the hall, so that everyone knows what they have planned.  Usually they are older gentlemen, way past the point of caring what people think, and also dealing with certain medical issues that I thankfully don’t have to worry about just yet.  For them, the paper might be more of a neccesity than anything else.  You see, they may be in there a while, and not by choice, and they want to be able to do something while they sit and wait.  Hence, the reading material.

What they don’t realize though, or maybe they do, is that their struggle is eventually mine and other people’s reward, because when I make my way there later that afternoon I’m going to find a nice folded copy of that days sports section.  And I will sit down and pour over box scores from last night’s baseball games, something I used to do as a kid at the breakfast table before the internet destroyed my attention span.  If you think about it, reading on the toilet takes me back to a simpler, Rockwellian time almost, and I have Bill from accounting with a prostate issue to thank for it.

So now the time has come, to not only salute those people, but also make a call to arms to men, and women (don’t be shy) everywhere, be proud of bringing your reading materials to the toilet.  The more the merrier.  Newspapers, magazines, printed out articles, hell even books like this and this, bring em call, carry them proud, serve your fellow man!

Tags: Baseball Box Scores, Quaker Instant Oatmeal, Toilets